UNDER CONSTRUCTION !

Monday, July 18, 2011

Please forgive me Lord. I am unworthy to be your servant..



Air mata ini gugur pada permukaan bumi. Kembali bersujud dalam mencari keampunanNya. Masih terbukakah pintu untuk seorang manusia yang sering lalai seperti aku? Semoga, nukilan yang diambil melalui Iluvislam.com ini dapat membuka matamu, sahabat, sepertimana aku!
One day, I woke up early in the morning to watch the sunrise.
Ah, the beauty of God's creation is beyond description.
As I watched, I praised God for the beautiful work.
As I sat there, I felt the Lord's presence with me.
He asked me, "Do you love me ?"
I answered, "Of course God! You are my Lord!"
Then He asked,"If you were physically handicapped,
would you stil love me ?"
I was perplexed.I looked down upon my arms,
legs and the rest of my body and wondered how many things,
I wouldn't be able to do, the things I took for granted.
And I answered, "It would be tough Lord,
but I would still love you."
Then the Lord said,"If you were blind,
would you still love my creation?"
How could I love something without being able to see it ?
Then I thought of all the blind people in the world
and how many of them still loved God and his creation.
So I answered, "Its hard to think of it, but I would still love you."
The Lord then asked me,"If you were deaf,
would you still listen to my word ?"
How could I listen to anything, being deaf ?
Then I understand.Listening to God's word is
not merely using our ears but our hearts.
I answered, "It would be tough but
I would still listen to your words,"
The Lord then asked,"If you were mute,
would you still praise my Name?"
How could I praise without a voice ?
Then it occured to me:God wants us to sing
from our very heart and soul.
It never matters what we sound like.
So I answered, "Though I could not physically sing,
I would still praise your Name."
And the Lord asked,"Do you really love me ?"
With courage and a strong conviction, I answered boldly,
"Yes Lord!
I love you because you are the one and true God!"
I thought that I had answered well, but God asked,
"Then why do you sin?"
I answered, "Because I am only human, I am not perfect."
"Then why do in times of peace you stray the furthest ?
And why only in times of trouble do you pray the earnest ?"
No answer. Only tears.
The Lord continued:Why only pray at fellowships and retreats ?
Why seek me only in times of worship ?
Why ask things so selfishly?
Why ask things so unfaithfully ?
The tears continued to roll down my cheeks.
Why are you ashamed of Me ?
Why are you not spreading the good news ?
Why in times of presecution, you cry to others
when I offer My shoulders to cry on ?
Why make excuses when I give you opportunities to serve in My Name ?
I tried to answer but there was no answer to give.
You are blessed with life.
I made you not throw this gift away.
I have blessed you with talents to serve me,
but you continue to turn away.
I have revealed My word to you, but you do not gain in knowledge.
I have spoken to you, but your ears were closed.
I have shown my blessings to you, but your eyes were turned away.
I have sent you servants, but you sat idly as they were pushed away.
I have heard your prayers and I have answered them all.
Do you truly love Me ?
I could not answer.
How could I ?
I was embarrased beyond belief.
I had no excuse.
What could I say to this ?
When my heart had cried out, and the tears had flowed,
I said, "Please forgive me Lord.
I am unworthy to be your servant."
The Lord answered,"That is my grace, my servant."
I asked, "Then why do you continue to forgive me ?
Why do you love me so ?
The Lord answered, "Because you are my creation.
I will never abandon you.
When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you.
When you shout with joy, I will laugh with you.
When you are down, I will encourage you.
When you fall, I will raise you up.
When you are tired, I will carry you.
I will be with you till the end of the days
and I will love you forever."
Never had I cried so hard before.
How could I have been so cold.
And for the first time, I truly prayed.
--------------------------------------------
Setelah membacanya, bagaimana,
apa yang korang rasa,
Nukilan ini sangat menyentuh.
Semua ini, membuat diriku kembali mengingati kejadian lama.
Ya. Zaman kejahilan diri.
Zaman yang penuh kegelapan.
Sinarnya, tiada.
Sesat di tengah-tengah perjalanan.
Dua jalan yang nyata berbeza.,
kesalahan dalam mencari pilihan yang tepat.
Kerana pemilihan itu,
aku tidak ketahui apa yang patut aku ketahui,
aku alpa dan sering terleka,
kenapa, diri ini JAHIL dalam mencari RedhoMu, Rabbi?
Dulu, bagaimana aku melefazkan kalimah cinta yang tipu belaka?
Lalai dalam meraih sesuatu yang jelas tidak abadi...
apa gunanya lagi, kini, FARIHAH AMIRAH???
Namun, hal itu berlaku tidak lama,
Mujur, Allah masih mahu memberikan diri ni petunjuk,
petunjuk dalam menjadi seseorang yang lebih baik dari sebelumnya,
aku cuba bangkit..
Menjadikan kisah lalu sebagai pengajaran,
tapi, aku terpukul sendiri.
Perubahanku membawa kepada sejuta kata-kata yang menguris hati.
Aku menambah pula dosa mereka.
Wahai Sahabtku,
tiada hakkah bagiku untuk melakukan perubahan kerana Yang Maha ESa?
Mengapa aku dibebani dengan kata-kata kalian semua?
Sedang niatku PadaNya,
Ikhlas buatNya,
Malah, engkau menghakimiku, seolah-olah Engkau Tuhan di dunia.
Namun, hatiku kuat mengatakan,
kesabaran kunci kegembiraan,
aku dengarkannya,
menurut segala kehendak hati yang berteriakan,
bagi merapatkan ukhuwwahku di sisiNya..
apa yang aku cari ialah Dia, Bukan E.N.G.K.A.U!
Aku musafir, aku pencari, aku NA.SIN.YA [PELUPA!] ; Insan!
Engkau perlu menerima aku yang kini,
aku hidup bahagia dalam mencari jalan yang dirahmatiNya,
meski jalan itu penuh duri di tengah perjalanan,
semangatku masih utuh,
demi, menemui kegembiraan abadi.
Akhirat yang penuh nikmat yang Syurga, tujuanku.
Untuk aku bertemu Allah.
Melihat wajahNya, satu kenikmatan yang tiada terkata.
Lalu, apa hakmu sekarang?
Aku hamba Dia.
Aku tepis segala kata-katamu,
agar ia menjadi benteng pertahananku,
yang kuat menolak segala serangan yang mendatang,
Dengan Kalimah ;
"Subhannallah , Alhamdulillah , Wa Laaa ila hailallah, Allahu Akbar."
Aku mengakui kebesaranNya.
aku Memuji kekuasaanNya.
Aku menyakini kewujudanNya.
Aku tahu, tiada Tuhan Melainkan dia,
Tuhan Yang Esa..
Perlukah aku memohonkemaafan darimu, wahai sahabat?
Sedang, hubunganku dengan Allah, aku jaga,
mengapa tidak, antara kita semua,
meski engkau tidak mengatakan padaku,
aku tetap tahu,
riak wajah yang engkau pamerkan,
kata-kata yang engkau ucapkan,
masih timbul rasa ragu,
kerana zaman kejahilanku yang lalu..
Maafkan aku, sahabat.
aku tidak sempurna dalam menjadi manusia yang luarbiasa.
Titik kelemahanku masih banyak,
cuba aku atasinya,
tapi, terasa sudah berlalu lama,
aku tertunduk, menangis,
menyesali hal yang aku ciptakan sendiri.
Sahabat,
maafkan aku..
maafkan kesalahanku dalam menjadikan kamu bonekaku satu ketika dahulu,
tapi, ketahuilah,
kau sahabat.. kau sahabat,
DUNIA AKHIRATKU!
Manusia itu ialah ENGKAU!
Tiada yang lain melainkan ENGKAU , sahabat.
Terima kekuranganku, bagi mencipta kekuatan,
bersama-sama.
Ya, sahabat.
aku perlu sokonganmu dalam menjadi wanita pilihanNya.
Aku menagih cintaNya,
Lalu, bagaimana aku mahu menebarkan sayap kasih untukMu, sahabat?
Sedang, aku hanya peminjam cinta Illahi..
Maafkan aku, sahabat..
Aku cinta Allah.. Masih banyak kekuaranganku terhadapNya.
Aku perlukan Dia, setiap masa..
Engkau, sahabat..
Merupakan pilihanku..
Pilihanku selepas aku sudah mampu menjadi,
seorang pecinta sejati..
Izinkan aku, Ya Waduud dalam meraih cinta suciMu..
Izinkan aku untuk terus bermunajat kepadaMu, tanpa aku risau siapa lagi yang akan terus mengungkit kisah lamaku.
Aku biarkan semua berlalu pergi,
Dengan sinar baru,
Jalan baru,
Buku baru,
Hidup baru,
Dan kisahku yang baru!
Terimalah taubatku.. terimalah taubatku.. Terimalah taubatku..
Aamin..





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